Saturday, January 07, 2006

Porn shop owner

NOTE: The short posts below should probably be read in reverse order since they came from my BlackBerry while at the tables in Vegas.







[FYI, the Consumer Electronics Show runs concurrent with some national Porn show. Freeks and Geeks, baby! I shared the tables with both...]

The owner of the biggest porn shop in thunder bay Ontario just say next to me. Skank with a capital Penis.

Playing "cockring" (A-6, baby!) just isn't the same at this table!


Cockring ? An Explanation...


In reading this months later, I realize the hand name "Cockring" has not been explained. Here's the story:

A bunch of our local poker group went to Vegas last September. Before dinner one night, we were all seated at a $2-4 table at the Mandalay and our rule was any hand with a "name" had to be played. So this lead to lots of action as we played crap like a "Doyle Brunson" (10-2) , "Gay Waiter" (Q-3), "Motown" (J-5), etc. We even made up names just to get in there and tussle: "Todd Brunson" (10-3), "MILF" (3-9), you get the picture...

At dinner (at the Palm's Steakhouse), someone came up with the clever idea that we should attempt to work the word "cockring" into casual conversation ("I was whitewater rafting with some buddies," say Pete, "when my cockring got caught in the oarlock."). This, of course, led to much wine expelled through the nose and also naturally lead to us having to name a hand "cockring". Think about A-6 and A-9 as the two most likely candidates for a while and you'll get it...

Taking money from porn stars

So I'm on a walking poker tour from the convention center back to the trop. First stop, the Imperial Palace.

New 2/4 game. I pass on no limit since the folks waiting for the game just scream "free money!"

On my left? Porn chick and acne cratered stud with "it won't suck itself!" T-shirt on (no shit, its true)

On my right? Porn chick and porn dude with requisite goatee. No acne, but scraggly just the same (in a skinny Ron Jeremy kind of way).

How do porn stars play?

Wait for it...

Loose.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Michelle, the dealer from China...

...thinks I look wierd. My eyes are "too big and too blue". I think she is actually scared of me! Buzzarre.

Quad eights at stud

Sweet! Spun the wheel *almost* got 100 bonus but ended up with 20. I'll take it.

Playstation 3: mindblowing

I have finally been wowed at this show. The PS3 is insanely realistic, virtually as realistic as film. More later...

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Breakin' rocks in the hot sun...

The 5-10 Omaha at the Mirage just broke and I did a lot of the breaking. But I had an accomplice. More on that at the end. First to last night's action.


I ended up playing a wee bit late in the lovely Tropicana poker room last night. I use the word "lovely" as a synonym for "dark, dank, hole". Six tables, in the darkest corner of this already dark casino. Self-service table list ("be you're own Brush at the Trop!"). Cocktail waitresses who fondly remember serving the Rat Pack guys. You get the picture.

I played $1/2 No Limit and quickly blew off $200. Four guys at the left end of the table (I was in seat 6) we're big stacked and calling EVERYTHING. I got rivered a bunch of times and one time got way to attached to a pair of tens. Problem was, I was playing too passively. After the rivering that had me reaching for another $50 (after dumping $200) I decided to get angry.

I went on tear and won about 6 hands in a row. Three of them were stone-cold all-in bluffs in position when a scare card dropped. My favorite was this hand:

I have A-4 diamonds in the UTG seat ("under the gun, right after big blind"). Now I hate little Aces, especially in no-limit, but this table was pretty passive so I called. I think the hand got raised, but not to more than $10. Big blind called. Maybe 5 people in the pot.

Flop comes down A-7-2 with one diamond. Big Blind bets. Now you see why I hate little Aces; it is damn near impossible for me to not be outkicked! (He might not have an Ace, but who is going to bet out from early position with a 2 or a 7 with an Ace on the board? This guy was not that kind of player.)

I think he bet like $10-15. I was still a bit pissed off, so I called (I figured I had 1 out for runner-runner flush and 3 outs for a straight, about 10-1, not great but the implied odds were good if I hit.) Everyone else folded.

Turn comes J diamonds. Now I am 4 to the nut flush. Big bling bets $20.

I push all in for $80 or so.

BB thinks a bit, says "I believe you" and flips over A-7 (2 pair). "Holy Shit!" I think to myself, "that should have been on ESPN!".

I had a good read on the guys across from me two. After an hour or so their betting patterns/amounts were real clear. I could tell when one of the guys was betting second pair and bluffed him off twice when a scare card fell on the turn (A, K, etc.).

I ended up winning all my money back. It was here that things went down hill.

The $2/4 table next door decided they were going to play Omaha. So, of course, I changed tables. We only got 2 hands in (I won both) before two newbies sat down and did not want to play. Somehow I ended up blowing off $125 in LIMIT hold'em in like an hour. I was fishing like a mad man.

Actually, I just sucked.

Anyway, I am beat now, so I will have to write my bit about conquering "The Rock Garden" tomorrow. Highlights:

- Playing in a $55 single table satellite (it sucked!)
- Going on a huge run in $3-6
- Going on a bigger run in $5-10 full kill Omaha

G'Nite!

----------Added Later-----------

So I just love the Mirage $5-10 FK Omaha game. First of all, it seems to be the last Omaha game left on the strip (I found a rotation game once at the MGM, but only once and that's another story...). Second, it seems to be the same 8 rocks every time I sit down.

The combined age of the "stock 8" players at the Mirage $5-10 O8B game is around 600 years. I am not shitting you. I was damn near skate-punk-young to these guys. And they play like their social security checks are on the line, which, come to think of it, is probably the case. This makes me feel kind of bad for them, until I realize these folks are here all day every day.

Anyway, since they play so damn tight, I play a little looser than normal. I was even warned by a dealer at the $3-6 game that these folks only raise with killer hands (obvious once you watch for a while). So this makes my hand selection easier. Unraised pots, play looser and perhaps raise with something not-quite-worth-it; raised pots: bail unless it is something strong.

Surprisingly, several of the players at the table recognized me from the last time I played there (like 6 months ago...story somewhere below). I killed the game last time for several hundred...this night was not much different. I managed to leave up something like $500 after about 3-4 hours of play. I won one kill pot worth over $300 when my top full house beat the player with second full house (I played the hand intentionally weird and sucker punched him at the end, no way he could put me on top full house until the last reraise...he thought I had made nut flush).

Anyway, I love that game and hope it manages to survive at least a little while longer.




Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Mobile Blogging!

It works! Awesome. Now I can spend my idle moments waiting for decent cards boring other people with my inane writing. I love technology.

(BTW, check out go.blogger.com if you want to go mobile. Works great from the CrackBerry.)

Did you ever have someone so ludicrously helpful you just wanted to tell them to shut the hell up (but you couldn't cuz they were so nice)? Such was my relationship with Titi (real name) who was my overly helpful check-in lady tonight.

I had to wait about a half an hour on line at the Trop to meet Ms. Tiki (Ethiopa), time I spend tooling with mobile blogger on my cellie. Little did I know I would be spending about 10 minutes checking in because Tiki had to tell me EVERYTHING about the Trop.

I'm serious, damn near everything. And she had to illustrate it to boot.

She pulls out a map on which I want simple directions to the supposed WiFi hotspot at the hotel (only dialup in this fleabag). She proceeds to draw on the map, like some crazed pregnant Ethiopian John Madden, plotting plays for how I will get from here to there.

"Here's the cafe, in case you want something to eat. It is open 24/7!", and she write "Cafe, 24/7" on the map.

"Here's the Sundries shop, it's called Sundries, not Gift Shop so don't get confused!" and she writes "Sundrees" on the map, right next to "Sundries" which is already on said map.

OK, I get the picture, I think.

She goes on to tell me all the other places of interest in the Trop. You'd think that wouldn't take very long because this place is a shithole, but it did. She even went on to explain that "all the local calls I can make are only a DOLLAR-A-DAY, so make sure to call all my friends". My cell sitting on the counter didn't clue her in to my telecom capability.

You know what? Now I have wasted more time typing this than it took. Screw it, I'm gonna go play cards.

Live from the Trop

Here, stuck on the first of many lines. Does mobile blogging work?

We'll see...

New blogue

First post from phone. Will it work?

On the Road to CES

I'm flying out today from Oakland for CES. Why Oakland? Cuz I waited till a week before CES to make my plans and I'm lucky not to be driving to Vegas. As it is, I am on Mesa Airlines and I have never even heard of Mesa airlines. I think the plane is flown by someone named "Mesa".

(Note to self: Ask friend named Mesa if he owns a plane.)

I'm staying at the Trop and rumor has it (well, their website has it), they gots a cardroom. Doesn't really matter to me, the MGM is across the street one way, the Excalibur the other. Both will keep me satisfied.

The MGM has a SWEET card room with the only live rotation game I have ever seen under $100-$200. I played $3-6 (might have been $4-8) PHORSE their when I was on the boy's trip back in September (Pineapple, Hold'em, Omaha, Razz, Stud, Stud 8/b). We almost got the dealer to deal "Indian Sweat" (more politically correctly called "Bind Man's Bluff", or even more PC "Non-Sighted Man's Bluff") but the pit boss put the kaibosh on it. But that's another story.

In any case, very nice room but I find the tables a little tight (I'm a big dude and don't like people sitting on or too close to me...at least not men in a cardroom. Not that Brokeback Mountain wasn't a great film, I just don't ride that side of the range.).

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, cardrooms.

So I like MGM, tables too small, but nice. Excalibur I like because of the fun low-limit spread hold'em game they have ($2-8 I think) and the no-ante stud game. And the Luxor is attached with the most "money!" no-limit hold'em game in Vegas.

Think I'll hit them all.

Boy's Vegas Trip

So I never wrote a full post on what happened during our (sure-to-be) annual boy's poker trip to Vegas back in September (see incoherent attempts to post live via CrackBerry). And I probably won't.

You know: what goes, stays.

Suffice it to say we had a great time. I may update with some classic moments (my blind straddle re-raise at a drunken 2-4 table just to wake up with AA, drinking "Blue Muthafukahs" with Craig, etc.) if I have spare time during this week's trip to Vegas...

Stay tuned.