Vegas Trip Report

This is my trip report that I sent to my local buddies after going to Vegas for CES. Posted for historical shits-n-grins.

Stop One: Binion's Horseshoe
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Spent two nights at Binion's. The $39/night rate did not include complete tiling in the bathroom but it did include the "DING" of the elevator every 5 minutes. No worries, the cardroom was right outside the elevator.

I was pumped for Binion's thinking such a famous cardroom would spread a wide range of games.

Wrong.

Binion's had $2-4 hold'em, $4-8 hold'em and $1-2 No Limit. I played $2-4 and $4-8 and over the next 2 days sustained my longest streak of not winning a SINGLE HAND.

6 HOURS. No shit, it's true.

The sole highlight was an ultrahottie blond (with the required large augmented breastes) who sat next to me and turned out to be very cool. She was a dealer in Indiana and could play. We ended up in one hand against each other where she made a straight on the river. Before she flipped her cards she chuckled and said I always play these...sure enough she was playing big lick (6-9).

No shit, it's true. Even my warped mind couldn't make that up.

On our way out the door to explore Fremont Street, my buddy convinces me to try 3 Card Poker. Now I've read some where the only thing with worse odds than 3CP is Let it Ride, but hey, my night cannot get any worse.

It doesn't.

I hit trips (30-1 payout) and several straights and flushes and manage to win back almost what I have lost in real poker.

The rest of the night was lame, some video poker at the Nug a couple of beers, then off to bed by 5AM.

Stop Two (Intro): The Fremont Street Experience
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After the next day's work (starting just 2 hours later than my last hand of hold'em) we decide we must see the Fremont Street Experience. This is a massive light show on the ceiling that covers the entire street. It's a rather jingoistic affair including multiple F-16s, soaring eagles, bombs blasting etc., just the kind of stuff to endear us to foreign tourists. I quickly loose interest, turn to my buddy, and say "Cocktails" while pointing at the Glitter Gulch home for advanced dance studies. He nods affirmative over the roar of a B-52 and in we go. After all, it is free admission.

A couple of nine dollar Corona's and several strippers in need of a Fox Extreme Makeover later, we're gone. One more activity checked off the list.

Stop Two: The Nug.
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My losing ways continued at Binion's for about an hour (I was waiting for my compatriot who was playing blackjack). I should mention Scott has all the damn tables memorized, can sort of count cards if he's not hammered (not often) and usually does pretty well. I, on the other hand, always lose at BJ. I finally tear him away and we head for the Golden Nugget.

Our main goal in hitting the Nug was to find Tim and Tom (infamous of Fox's The Casino show). They weren't around a 3AM the previous night and not around at a leisurely midnight this night, so I hit the cardroom while buddy hit the craps table. Once again, the only games being dealt were $2-4 and $4-8 and $1-2 No Limit. I went for $4-8.

The carnage continued....and just in case you're wondering if I was drunk enough to fall down and break my ribs, the answer is no, I was drinking coffee.

This one hand put me on severe tilt. I had AK and raised. EVERYONE called. No there's $72 in the pot. The flop comes down A-K-rag with one club. Someone bets, I raise, EVERYONE CALLS. Now there's $144 in the pot. Showtunes are going off in my head. The turn comes down a club rag. Now there are 2 clubs and I've only got one. I bet, about 3 guys call. Now the only thing that can beat me is a club. There's like $200 in the pot.

A friggin 22-1 shot at the flop, this isn't really going to happen to me, is it?

Yes, it *is*.

A club comes on the river and some dipshit proudly shows his crappy 22-1 shot jack-deuce clubs. I toss in my cards, break my own rule to never speak badly of someone else's idiotic play and stomp away.

I STILL HAVE NOT WON A SINGLE HAND IN LAS VEGAS. This can mean only one thing: time for No Limit.

Stop Two (Part 2): My No Limit Virginity Goes POP
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At this point I was utterly sick of playing suck-out wheel-of-fortune poker. I'd lost maybe $300 and was severely steaming. I knew it could not get worse, so I may as well go play with the big boys. Seriously, it can't get worse, can it?

No, it can.

(Kidding)

It actually got better. A LOT BETTER. No limit is simply the biggest blast ever. At most casinos it is played $1-2-NL so there's a $1 small, $2 big then swing away, buddy. A typical initial raise is $10-$15 with some as high as $30. Most pots are in $100-$200 range. There's no sucking out with 22-1 shots in this game, and you can bluff something fierce. Many pots when unraised and I would come in for a look with a $2 bet with some seriously weak hands.

I got lucky to find a fairly mellow, nice table for my first try. Nice guys, decent players, no sharks (I met some of those later).

My entire night slowly started turning around. Then the following hand comes up.

I've got A-deuce of clubs in late position and the pot get's raised to $15 or so in front of me. I call. The flop comes down A-club-club. A guy to my right bet's out $25, he gets raised $100 by the guy to my right, I flat call. The guy who put in the original $100 calls after some thought. We've got about $350 in the pot now.

Turn comes down rag. Initial better checks, guy to my right pushes $150 in. I flat call him (hey, I got a pair of aces and the nut flush draw). The 3rd guy bails.

Now, I have about $265 in this pot. My heart is beating like Lenny Bias after his 10th line of blow. Here comes the river.

CLUB. Star Spangled Banner, the entire Gilbert and Sullivan collection, it is all going off in my head. Could this possibly get better?

IT CAN! The guy to my right pushes is whole stack in. I am DUMBFOUNDED. What could he possibly have? I study the board again and again to make sure I didn't miss anything. I didn't. I call with my last $150. He turns over Aces-Up. He's done, spindled and mutilated. I pull down a ~$800 pot and life is looking good. I played for about another hour without any major swings, then hit the sack. It's about 6 AM.

I'll never play limit hold'em again...at least not tonight.

I'm adding this analysis 8 months and many thousands of hands of cash NLHE later. So how well did I play this hand, let's go street-by-street:

• Pre-flop: Pot was raised to $15 (7.5x BB) before it came to me in late position with A-2 suited. A-2 suited is not a very good hand, but a $15 bet in $1/2NL is nothing huge. What the hell, it's vegas. Grade: B.
• Post-flop: Bet comes to me at $100 with $165 in the pot so I am not even getting 2-1 pot odds. But I do have a lot of outs: a deuce could come giving me 2 pair (but I suspected at the time I might already be behind in that regard), any club gives me a flush (9 outs), or I may actually be in the lead ($100 guy may be bluffing or may have bottom 2 pair- unlikely). And the implied odds are huge. If the guy in early position calls (he does) I am getting 3-1. But chances are I am behind. Grade for call of $100: B+ (for implied odds).
• Turn: We now have $345 in the pot. Rag drops and main better pushes in $165. Now I am getting 3-1 on my money. It is a little worse than 4-1 I'll make my flush on the river. Implied odds and position (minor in this case, I either hit or miss) give me the edge I need to make this call. Grade: B.
• River: well I won, right so it must be an A.

Overall though, I think I might have played this hand eiher a little tighter (folded), or come over the top and pushed with my flush draw on the flop.

STOP 3: Bally's and Bellagio
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We moved to Bally's after the first two nights in order to be on the strip. Bally's just opened a new poker room and I wimped out and moved back down to $2-4 and $4-8. And guess what? Got sucked out on again by merrimakers playing any-two-will-do. So I start playing that way and lose. I'll spare you the boring details but I eventually drifted back to NL hold'em and did OK. This game was a little easier than the other one. I'm still about even on the night.

But now I'm jonesin' for a decent Omaha or Stud H/L game. I've had enough Irish coffee to make the hike over to Bellagio seem worth it, so off I go. Now, Bellagio
is *the* place for poker these days. You can see (though I didn't) guys like Daniel Negraneu, Doyle Brunson, Phil Ivey, or Gus Hansen playing $4000-$8000 mixed games on any given night. I ask to be put on the Stud list (no Omaha) and they ask do I want $60-120 or $80-160. I decide bed is a better answer. And should have stuck to it.

STOP 3 (Part 2): The Flamingo
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So the Flamingo is kind of on the way back from Bellagio if you get really lost. But I'd played there before and remembered they had a stud game so off I went.

No such luck. Finding anything other than hold'em in Vegas is getting to be like finding a virgin stripper (don't read ahead). So I played NL.

NL at the Flamingo was like going to school. First, the blinds were higher ($1-5) but more importantly there were some OUTSTANDING players at the table. More than once, I got moved off the best hand by a flat out bluff. One time, I was holding AJ hearts and the flop came down Ace(spade)-spade-spade(I had previously raised the pot to $30 from late position and there was about $120 in the pot). First position throws out $25 and pro drops $125. Sheeeeat, says I and folds.

First position folds. Pro flips over K-10 neither is a spade....

Later, an even worse situation came up. I am sitting on KJ suited and the flop comes QQJ with one of my suit. There's only two of us in the pot (about $100 in there) and the guy in front of me (another very good player), bet's out $25. I go over the top with $125 figuring even if he's got a queen, I have a full house draw, a straight draw and a flush draw. He pushes with about $1000 in chips. I think and think for like 2 minutes then fold. I'll never know whether this was right or wrong since he didn't show. Anyway, I was feeling like I might be at the sucker at this table, so I split.

Stop 4 (or Mitch Finds an Omaha Game)
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Early the following evening I belly back up to NL at Bally's and I am doing decently. Actually very decently...I am up like $250. Scotty's playing craps and he's up so we're pretty pumped up. We decide to drink dinner (I am back on Irish coffee). Our fun little 6 handed games gets combined with another table and now we're playing 11 handed. I am immediately to the right of the "chip leader" who is packing about 2 large. He was from my table and I saw him bluff several times.

First hand comes off and peek down at 10-10. I raise to $35. Chip Leader goes to $100. Me and another guy call. I don't remember the exact flop, but I still had top pair and a straight draw. I fire at the pot $100, he goes over me $200. I push in my stack. He flat calls and flips over queens. Almost made my straight, and my second place prize was to give chip leader my $400. Poorly played by me, got the result I deserved.

I get up and leave.

But now my buddy has disappeared from the craps table and with him went the hottie he was talking to (I am guessing). He rings my cell and tells me to get to the Tequila Bar where he sits with said tall blonde (a graphic artist from SF). I imbibe a single tequila based product then abandon him to continue his quest. My quest is simple: find an Omaha game at the Mirage.

And find one I finally did. I'm thinking that now that I have found an Omaha game, perhaps Scotty found a virginal stripper. Is it possible?

I think the Mirage is the best cardroom in Vegas. It's not snooty like Bellagio, it's quiet and has nice, speedy waitresses. They also have a variety of games.

The game I choose is $5-10 Omaha with a full kill (the only Omaha they had). The kill comes in when you scoop a pot over $75 which is almost every scooped pot in $5-10 Omaha so we're really playing $10-20 Omaha. I guess NL has desensitized me because I'm thinking, "gee, that's a pretty cheap game!" I drop down $200 for two nice stacks of red.

My very first hand I hit "AAA77" on the turn. KACHING. Welcome to the table, Mr. Mitch can we give you more money?

Yes you can, I say, and I continue to go on the single greatest run in the history of my poker playing. I am *seeing* the board like I have a computer built in to my head, reading other guys hands, folding when I am beat, staying when I have 2nd best (which turns into best) and most importantly getting cards like nobody's business. I busted one guy at the end of the table *twice*. Another guy threw his cards every time I bet. It was a thing of beauty.

I hit the wheel so many times I lost count. Full houses? Got more than Shea homes. Flush's, straights, trips...please sir, may I have some more? But the best was when I looked down at my cards after the flop and had a gutshot straight flush draw. I'm thinking, "the way things have been going, I'll get that 8 of spades on the turn".

And I did.

KAKAKAKACHING. Someone else had made the high full house. I, of course, slow played my hand of mass destruction and then broke that dude in half like a stick of stale gum on the river. And here's the best part: I also made the winning low hand. Can you say SCOOOOPPPAAAH?

I ended the night when the table broke around 630AM. I was up $1000 at one point but ended up a measly $800 when I headed for breakfast. I may never play hold'em again.

Stop 5: The Imperial Palace
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Until tonight....

Played a little $2-4 hold'em with some customers at the Luxor after dinner. The Luxor room blows. They even deal $1-2 hold'em which I believe can only be found elsewhere at maximum security prisons.

So Scotty and I decide to cab it down to the Mirage for a reenactment. Unfortunately, the 5-10 Omaha game has about a 2 hour wait. We decide that since it is our last night in Vegas and we don't need to be up at 8AM (we were there for a conference) that we should take in a "show". But first, we wanted to get a wee bit hammered. We ended up (after some stops) at the Imperial Palace bar playing video blackjack strictly according to Scotty's memorized tables, while drinking beers (many beers). I lose most of my $20 bill but Scotty cashes out and we tread into the casino to convert his coin to cash. Unfortunately for Scott (who does not play much poker), we walked right by the cardroom. I was immediately sucked in. Scotty would normally have resisted but the waitress was an ultrahottie redhead and that was all she wrote for Scottie....deal him in.

The Imperial Palace cardroom is old school. The chip racks are *wood*. The chips are a color of grey I haven't seen since the Berlin Wall fell. But the beers came fast and they had out their breakfast buffet of sugar coated donuts (it was like 230AM). And the table was full of characters:

- "Yung" to my left was from Las Vegas by way of Korea. He was a pretty serious player and not very talkative. (I did not know it at the time, but I would see Yung again, 4 months later at Luxor.)

- "Old" on Yung's left is really named Jim and he is 90 years old. He has been married 67 years. His wife sits behind him and we get to chatting. She tells me she is 92 and I say she's a cradle robber. She got a real kick out of that. They left when he went broke and I hope they made it back to their room alive. You never know at 90.

- Chad, next to the old dude, was from Indiana (or some other state in the midwest). He was out with his college buddies who had already gone to sleep. And he's still in college. I tell him this is pathetic, but at least he's still out. His belt buckle is the size of my head.

- Mr. and Mrs. are at the end of the table. About my age (40), they clearly think me and Scott have had too much to drink. Fine, don't buy the next round then.

- Another young hipster, with massive sideburns sits down in seat 8. I decide his new name is "Elvis" and no matter how many times I ask him I still cannot remember his name. He remains, "Elvis".

- Another young Indian looking dude sits down next to Elvis. His name is "Kumar". I decide to call him "White Castle".

The game goes on for a couple of hours. I'm up, I'm down, I'm up. At one point, Yung literally falls asleep at the table and his face hits his chips. I would have expected that out of Old, but not Yung. It was hilarious. Even he laughed. Scotty has busted out and left for the craps table.

I then realize we never made it to a "show" and it is getting quite early. I have decided my new friends Chad, White Castle, Yung and Elvis should come along.

Yung and Elvis leave the building but Chad and Kumar come along. I yank Scotty off a craps table and off we go to the Spearmint Rhino at 530AM.

Let's just say the entertainers at 530AM Monday mornings are either older than me (no shit, it's true) or somewhat less bald than me (also true). But we made the most of it. Scotty and I showed our apprentices advanced moves like the reverse-gainer-dollar-drop and the "Look, I have dollar bill glasses" move made famous by geeks the world over. I finished the night by getting politely thrown out when I fell stone cold asleep at the bar. I had had about 12 hours sleep in 6 days and there were all these comfy pillows around....

The End